The Youngest Mitford: Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire
Finally, we have reached the last post of our Mitford Sister’s trilogy, and if you are still reading, you must be sighing in relief! I am excited to dive into the life, of Deborah Mitford, Duchess of Devonshire, the sister I love most, and the one who got me interested in this family to begin with. (So if you have grown tired of my writing about these women, you have her to blame!) We will also be driving a bit more into the Mitford family dynamics, I’ll be sharing some anecdotes and stories about the family, and finally sharing some more resources about them. But for now….Let’s meet “Debo.” (Her nickname universally used)
Deborah Mitford was born in 1920 and unfortunately, she was not a boy. As her sister Nancy shared in a decades later interview, their parlor maid had told her upon Debo’s birth that she knew immediately that the baby was not a boy from the look on Lord Redesdale’s face… In this interview Nancy went on to share that although disappointing at the start…Debo had actually gone on to turn out “quite satisfactory” which to me was just hilarious as by this time, they were all middle aged women. Deborah, along with Pam appeared to be the easiest of the sisters and she and her father actually got along very well as they enjoyed the same hobbies and country pursuits. In a break with family tradition, she did not grow up to be political, and unlike many of her sisters, she hated the idea of going to school. She was mercilessly teased by her older sisters, particularly Nancy, and she called her autobiography “Wait for Me!” Because she said as the youngest of seven children, she felt that is what she was constantly shouting.
Note: In interviews and in her book, Deborah recounts two stories frequently: first, one about Nancy’s Joy Dance. And Second, once about Nancy telling her she will never get married because of a gland on her neck…being sixteen years older, she told young Debo that her gland hubbled and bubbled in the night, and that no husband would put up with that…This caused Debo very much upset, as in those days marriage was what most girls were brought up to do. When you watch Deborah tell the story, you can see the joy on her face as she is laughing about it.
One of the hardest parts of Deborah’s fairly idyllic childhood was her sister Jessica, three years older, running away from home to elope with their second cousin Esmond Romily. Deborah shared that she could not imagine living without her dear sister, and so her sudden disappearance forever changed their relationship, although they did become close again later in life. At the age of 18, Debo met Andrew Cavendish, the second son of the 10th Duke of Devonshire, and although they would not marry for three years, they both have said that for them, it was love at first sight. In 1941, they married in wartime London. Deborah shared in books and interviews about how two days before their April wedding, a major bombing raid had taken place over London and her parent’s house had the windows blown out. Her mother however was able to use wallpaper to put together makeshift curtains and Debo shared that not only did it look fantastic, everyone was none the wiser because they were blessed with warm April weather. This story was a reminder to me that even though these women lived lives of privilege, they lived through harder times than most of the world today, and yet, they just kept on moving forward. Upon her marriage, Deborah became Lady Andrew Cavendish, a title she thought she would keep for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, her brother in law, the Marquess of Hartington, and heir to the Dukedom was shot and killed in the war and so her husband Andrew now became his father’s heir. Billy, her brother in law had been married to Kathleen “Kick” Kennedy, whom Debo also adored, and so her tragic death a few years later was an even further blow to the already devastated Cavendish Family.
Their early marriage was filled with love, but also with the tragedy and loss brought on by both the war, and the infant deaths of three of their children. Debo said in her book, that had it not been for her surviving two, and finally three children, she does not know how she would have made it. (I am so glad she chose to mention this sad subject in her book, because as a more recent historical figure, she is more relatable for us all, and infant death is something that has plagued people all through history. I find that when reading history the feelings of the historical figure are too often overlooked, and so as time goes on we will have this as a true accounting of how she felt.)
Just after the war, it was decided that the Duke of Devonshire/Cavendish Family assets would be held in trust to help ease the the burden of some of the extremely heavy post war death duty taxes that bankrupted so many noble families in the 1950s. A stipulation was, that the trust had to be set up for five years before the family could reap any benefits and both shockingly, and unfortunately, the 10th Duke died at the young age of fifty-five. This was just fourteen weeks before the benefits of the trust were realized. This meant that Andrew and Deborah, at the age of thirty, had to figure out how to pay an eighty percent death duty on the value of their family possessions. It was decided that Hardwick Hall (the absolutely stunning and famous house of Bess of Hardwick, an ancestor of The Duke’s and the woman who built the Original Chatsworth), other lands and estates, as well as some of the most famous and precious works of art in the Devonshire Collection would be sold and/or given over to The National Trust and to museums in order to cover the Death Duties. As Duke Andrew explained, it was incredibly hard to part with these treasures, but the harder thing would have been losing Chatsworth.
Even though the death duty payments went on from 1950 to 1974, Now the business of turning Chatsworth, which had not been lived in since before the war, into a family home and lucrative business that could support the upkeep of the house and running of the estate was where Deborah and Andrew turned their sights to. In her several books, she outlined their many successes, such as their restaurants, farm shop, farmyard, etc. as well as their failures, namely the farm shop in London. But it is safe to say that much of what Chatsworth offers today is due to Deborah. She is famous among country house owners for making a real and successful business out of her home, while she and her husband gladly shared so much of it with the public. She is so famous in this world in fact, that in her own memoir, the current Duchess of Rutland shared how she nervously scheduled a meeting with Debo to pick her brain about how to turn their own estate into a thriving business, something which she and her husband have also successfully done.
Just as with her (and Andrew’s) business endeavors, their were many successes and some sadnesses in Debo’s personal life as well.. She lived her life enjoying the countryside (which she loved most) and among some of the 20th centuries most colorful characters: her own sisters, artists such as Lucian Freud, Patty Leigh Fermor, The Prince and Princess of Wales, Prince Ali Khan, Harold Macmillan and the Kennedys. They Devonshires and the Kennedy’s had a particularly special connections because of their family ties with Kick, but also because when Joe Kennedy was the Ambassador to Britain, they all came out together and became friends. Deborah and Andrew were at JFK’s inauguration, his funeral, in Washington during the Cuban Missile Crisis and more. Her books share letters between herself and JFK as well as Bobby Kennedy, with both of whom, there was great mutual affection. She and her husband also threw a giant golden wedding anniversary party for couples in their county who were also married in 1941. What they thought might be a few hundred couples, turned into just under a thousand! (Coverage of this event can be found on youtube, and I will link it below. It is absolutely heartwarming.) On the tougher side of life, not only did she suffer losses with her family members and babies, she also delt with her husbands infidelity. When asked about it late in life, she said that divorce was just never something she considered. It was not what she signed up for. Her husband also suffered from alcoholism, which ran in his family, and eventually that also came to a painful head. Fortunately, her husband was able to stop and never had a drink for the last twenty years of his life.
Sadly, the Duke passed away in 2004 and in 2005, Deborah moved to a house in the the village on the Chatsworth estate. Far from retiring, she wrote books while living there, and was very much still the matriarch of the Devonshire/Cavendish family until her death in 2014. Her funeral was attended by the then Prince of Wales, as well as thousands from the area. There is coverage of the sad event on YouTube and in it, people become quite emotional and it shows what an integral part of her community she was. Deborah is one of my favorite people in history because I find her life so interesting, and I just love that she was such a strong woman who took her cards as they came, and made them into a remarkable life. She was incredibly elegant, but also relatable. She loved her chickens, she said that her clothes were mostly from country farm shops, or her very favorite and famous designers (Givenchy, etc.). She loved fine furniture and handbags, but also had her favorite chicken purse and Elvis slippers. And when she thought her guests would grow tired of the same floral centerpieces on the dining table, she decided to use live chicks instead! Her mixture of quirkiness, frankness and down to earth common sense made me love her from the start!
Below as I close out the stories of these remarkable women, I just want to share a few more stories and anecdotes about them to help paint as round a picture as possible of who these magical women really were. They were so quirky, smart, beautiful, and fun and that is truly reflected in their family stories which they all tell. Enjoy!
1. As a child, Jessica said she was sure that her Father was the link between mankind and apes. So, she used to measure his head so that she could send the information in to science!
2. In an interview, Jessica shared how she was almost assaulted by a man and she said, she thought to herself she should just keep talking and talking to bore him stiff….or “unstiff!” Her method did work and in fact, she was not assaulted.
3. All of the sisters were very prudent with money and hated paying for long distance calling. Jessica went to Paris, where she thought she would find Nancy in her flat. After hearing that Nancy was actually staying with Debo in England, she called her. Nancy, upon finding out that Decca was calling from her phone, hung up, but called back. Jessica’s husband Bob pointed out that then…the call was on Debo’s bill!
4. Their dad, who is portrayed as Uncle Matthew in Nancy’s books was very eccentric and often called people he didn’t like “a meaningless piece of meat.”
5. Unity was expelled from three schools, and in an interview, Diana shared she thinks it was why the girls weren’t really allowed to attend school. Diana also laughed and said that anytime anyone mentioned something about Unity being expelled, their mother would say, “Not expelled darling, just asked to leave.”
6. Jessica, when filling out an application decided that she could not put down “Aristocrat” for her father’s occupation because, that really wasn’t one…She remembered however that he did own a gold mine in Canada, and so she simply put down “Miner.” A slight different in those two things if you ask me!
7. The sisters had their own languages and nicknames. In her interviews, Jessica touches on some of the languages, and in fact, it was the inspiration for her book title Hons and Rebels. She and Deborah called their language “Honnish.”
7. Deborah once traveled home with a goat from their Family’s Scottish island. She brought the goat on several boats, trains and in a taxi to make the journey to Nancy’s in London. She said the goat had perfect behavior the whole trip and eventually ate right through Nancy’s London garden before eventually heading with Debo to the English Countryside. Could you imagine seeing a goat on a London train?
Finally, we have made it to the end of the Mitford Sisters Series. I hope that these posts and resources inspire you to learn more about these remarkable women. Smart, quirky, incredibly beautiful, frank, funny, loving and more than anything, uniquely Mitford! These are women who changed the course of History and they will not soon be forgotten!
Until Next Time,
McKenzie
PS. Here are a few more resources about the Mitford Sisters in case you want to know more:
Resources to do with Deborah:
*She has a collection of books she has written which can be from most major booksellers.
All Other Resources:
*See my previous posts on the Mitfords for more interviews and resources. Diana, Jessica and Nancy’s books can all be found by major booksellers.
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